I spent the morning at the Social Security Administration to update my married name. I walked to the SSA because it’s only a few blocks from where I live, and it totally counted as exercise because I walked around the neighborhood before returning home. I paused for a bit to think on how grateful I am that I’ve gotten to live in such a pretty place for the last five years. I walked around and admired the beauty around me yesterday too, and even though it was hot outside, I enjoyed it knowing that I could come home and shower right away.
After my walk today I showered and got ready to spend the afternoon at the Office of Motor Vehicles, which is the next step in the process. I packed books and filled my big Yeti cup with iced coffee, and headed to the OMV, prepared to wait for the duration.
When I moved into hour 3, I was at a stopping point in my reading, but I waited a while longer for my number to be called. When I got to the desk the lady said that I had to go back tomorrow because the SSA needed about 24 hours to process the change. (Ouch! I asked at the SSA and at the OMV and even called ahead, and they said I could do it today.)
I felt deflated for a few minutes because it’s taken me months to go and handle this, and it still didn’t get resolved today. It’s not really a big deal, but it shed light on the reality that I’ve been feeling lazy and lethargic. That’s really the only reason that I haven’t done it already.
Sure, I know it’s a hassle, but it’s worth the little effort it takes to get it done. I just found it inconvenient to walk to the SSA, but when I did it was no big deal at all. I mean, I can walk faster and further than before, and I no longer feel the heaviness of the weight I had regained.
Tomorrow marks one year since surgery, and I’m disappointed in myself for not reaching a cooler goal – like 150 to 200 pounds down. I’ve lost over 100 since this time last year, but it’s not about the numbers. I’m bothered by the fact that I’m not doing more. Sure, my skin issues put a major damper on things sometimes, but I’m also just not excited about exercise.
I realized that self-discipline was an issue in my life years ago, and I’ve actively taken authority over it in some areas of my life. I just can’t honestly say that about food and exercise.
The encouraging part of all of this is that I can start exercising more regularly again, and I can tell myself no when I want to eat a handful of almond M&M’s while I watch the season premier of Designated Survivor late tonight.
I eat significantly less than I used to…I’m also significantly lighter than I was a year ago. Life is filled with positive changes, and my weight still isn’t the biggest priority. I feel pretty good about life, but I feel lazy and lethargic when it comes to exercise.
The power to improve my behaviors and my self-control are right within me. I know that no discipline is fun at the time, but I also know that the rewards from it are great. I’m not going to beat myself up for not doing more in the past. I feel like I’m winning, but I also know I’m not doing my best.
Am I the only one fighting to overcome laziness in my workouts?