The Handsome Guy at the Coffee Shop

Dating isn’t easy in my body, but the truth is, it’s complicated for most people. I just have the added frustration fun of waiting for someone to see past my size and gorgeous friends.  (Seriously, I have some incredibly pretty friends, but I wouldn’t trade them.)

I spend a lot of time at Starbucks because of the free iced coffee and tea refills and Wi-Fi.  I’m there several times a week for meetings, coffee with friends and to work or study before of after class, and lately, I’ve noticed that I’m not the only habitual tea drinker at that particular location.

There’s a guy.  He’s tall, dark and incredibly handsome, and he’s been in my line of sight during my last several trips to Starbucks.  He tends to show up around the time that I do or a few minutes later, and while I wouldn’t dream of talking to him, I wish I had enough confidence to consider it.

I don’t know the guy.  Maybe he’s a jerk, but he seems like the handsome, slightly nerdy type who would know that Eric Cantor was defeated in the Virginia primary earlier this week.  (Nerdy, politically aware girls can dream too.)

Since there’s no way that I’d talk to him first, I suppose I’ll just have to drink my coffee in silence, while wondering what his name is or if he likes cupcakes.  (If I had to guess, I’d say that he’s not crazy about them, but I could look past that…maybe.)

Have you ever seen someone and felt like you just had to know them?  If so, did you act on it?

 

Love, or Something Like It

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and while no one will be giving me flowers or chocolates this year, love is on my mind…

There’s a man in my life, and I have feelings for him. I mentioned him for the first time here in September, and I’ve mentioned him once or twice since then. In some ways, he doesn’t fit the mold of the man that I used to envision, but in other ways he exceeds all of the dreams of a significant other that I’ve ever had.

He’s smart, incredibly humble and handsome, and he makes me laugh. He comforts me when I cry and calms me down when I get ticked off. I light up when I see him, and the big, easy smile that always appears on his face when he sees me shows me that he’s happy to see me too.

He is a great father. (Yes, Kenlie is attracted to a man who has kids.) He loves them, and they love him. The relationship he has with his children says a lot about the kind of man he strives to be, and the relationship that I have with his children makes it easy to love them too.

He doesn’t wear a suit to work, but he looks smoking hot when he does wear one. He’s successful. He works hard, but he knows that he’s blessed to have the career that he has.

He has a thankful heart, and he loves Jesus. When I began thinking about what I wanted in a man, it never occurred to me that I’d be attracted to someone who would put GOD first, but now I think it’s one of the sexiest things about him. He thinks about his actions and his words before he acts on them, and he strives to live a life that is GOD-approved. I’m trying to do the same thing, and he helps me grow in that. I help him grow too.

He stands by his beliefs (even sometimes when I think he’s dead wrong,) but he’s also amenable to change. When I make a good point, he embraces it. When he’s wrong, he’s not too prideful to admit that he’s wrong. Few things make my heart happier than watching him as he hangs on my every word before he concedes that I’m right or challenges me to think it through in a different way.

We’re good for each other. No, we’re great for each other. Whether we’re hanging out with friends into the wee hours of the night or relaxing on the sofa with his kids, or reading The Bible, we’re happy when we’re together, and people notice.

Our friends often joke about it, noting that when we’re together, we act like no one else is there. (They exaggerate, but point taken.) It is safe to assume that if we’re in the same room, we won’t be too far apart (with exception of Sunday mornings when I’m busy on stage or chatting and hugging everyone who walks through the doors of our church while he catches up with friends that he doesn’t see everyday.)

His life is so different than mine in some ways, but at the same time, he understands me. I don’t have to work hard to explain my feelings to him. They just flow naturally, and he communicates his thoughts and feelings very well most of the time too.

He knows all of my bad stuff – my darkest regrets, the lies I’ve told, the mistakes I’ve made that hurt people, the pain that I endured, my fears, and he doesn’t judge me. He just empathizes and allows me to be exactly who I am (scars, faults and all.)

He’s ten years older than I am, and he just moved into a beautiful new home in the suburbs that he had custom built, while I live in a historical high-rise downtown. He likes fishing and hunting and outdoor things, and I like shopping and traveling to new and interesting places. That said, when I step into his world, I realize that I love it, and the same happens when he steps into my little world. I’d probably even like fishing as long he handled the bait and the fish (since I’d inevitably catch some big ones!) We share a lot of friends, but he seems comfortable with everyone in my life regardless of how long he’s known them.

It’s hard to explain the connection that I feel for him because he’s not my boyfriend, yet he’s so much more than just some guy that I have a crush on. Sure, I think he’s amazing. He’s breathtaking. He makes me giddy, but it’s deeper than that. There’s something awesome and undefinable about our coexistence, but I don’t try to categorize it. I just enjoy it.

He matters to me. Our paths have crossed for a reason, though neither of us can fully explain why yet. I like to make him happy, and I want to take care of him (even though he is a full grown man who doesn’t need my protection.) I like feeling like he needs me from time to time, and I like knowing that I can depend on him to be there when I need or want him to be.

He is so special to me. I’m pretty full of joy regardless of others, but he makes my heart happy. He is the kind of man I want in my life forever – the kind of man that I’d change everything for if I had the opportunity. I cannot begin to understand why GOD has placed him in my life if he’s not meant for me, but I’m patiently waiting for Him to show me.

Lately a few friends have suggested that I express what I want in a relationship, and if I could sum it up, I’d say that I want something just like this (only adding that I want to kiss him whenever I want to.) I want the kind of relationship that I’ve just described, and I want it forever.

I want to love someone who loves me, and I want to show that man how much he is loved and desired. I want intimacy and a promise that he’ll always be there. If I can’t have that, then I’ll just continue to live life as a single person who’s thankful for everything that I do have.

 

Spilling My Guts On Love: Take Two

On Monday I mentioned how hard it can be to spill my guts when I know that other people are reading my personal thoughts.  I wrote a post and left it up for about twenty minutes before I removed it.  I suppose I needed to face my feelings first, and it was a pretty heavy post to include with Friend Makin’ Mondays anyway.  Now that I’ve had some time to think things through, I think I’m ready to share my feelings.

There’s a guy.  I’ve mentioned that, right?  He’s smart and friendly and gorgeous.  When I’m around him my heart beats fast, and it’s nearly impossible not to grin like a silly school girl.  When we talk my heart swells with happiness, and I can’t exactly explain why.  He’s not the type that I’m generally drawn to, and I know that I’m not the kind of girl he’s usually drawn to.  (You know, because guys aren’t attracted to girls who look like me until they get to know me.)

Don’t get me wrong.  I definitely think I deserve him; I’d make him happy.  I already do, but life slapped me in the face with facts over the weekend that are nearly impossible to ignore.  I thought he knew that I liked him, and I thought (or hoped or whatever) that he might feel the same way.  Now I’m pretty positive that I was wrong about the latter, and that has been a tough realization.

Another hard fact is that I hate the way I look.  I don’t really hate my face anymore; I hate my body, and I tell myself that I can’t expect him to like something about me that I don’t like about me.  But the truth is that I want him to.  I want him to see past my imperfections and just like me now.  I want him to want me before society thinks he should, and I want him to evolve with me.

I want him to run with me even though he’s probably faster.  I dream about riding my bike with him even though he doesn’t even own one.  I want to go on picnics with him, and I want to stand in the front row at a Pearl Jam show with him (even if he only goes because I want him to.)  I want him to meet my niece when she visits in a few weeks because I think she’s the cutest little person ever.  I want him to go on adventures around the world with me, and I want him to call me even when there’s absolutely nothing important to say.

He’s different than most of the guys I’ve dated.  I mean, he’s similar in some ways…He’s driven and accomplished. We want the same things out of life, but he’s not arrogant.  And while he’s working hard to get where he wants to go, he has no interest in forgetting where he came from.  (He wouldn’t even judge me for ending the last sentence with a preposition, though I promise not to make that a habit.)

People say that love finds you when you’re not looking.  They also say that everything happens for a reason, and I’m ready for the universe to shed some light on this.  I’m ready to understand why New York suddenly can’t compare to what I imagine that I could have here right now.

Maybe I’m not ready for a relationship with this guy.  Maybe I have to love myself more than I do.  I get it.  The universe wants me to grow, and I’m trying.  I’m trying!  I’m not saying that I want to jump into something serious with him today; I don’t want that.  I just want to think that the possibility exists. (Okay, okay…Maybe I want a little more than that.)

Believe me…I wasn’t looking for him when we met.  I had already decided that I wouldn’t date anyone else here.  And while it was hard not to stare at him, I reminded myself that what I wanted out of life was somewhere else.  But it’s not quite that simple anymore, and I can’t pretend that it is even if the outcome will be the same.

I’ve made so many mistakes in the past, and I’m determined not to repeat them again.  I have some regrets too, but I don’t want to regret giving up on this guy just because it’s so easy to believe that he could never be interested in me.

Maybe he’s not interested; maybe he never will be.  But so many imperfect people find love, and I want it too.   I wish I could tell him how I feel, but I’m sure he knows.   I’m not exactly known for my subtly.

People have been calling me brave a lot lately, but I’m not brave.  I’m just a girl who wishes that this guy would see this post, hug me and say “Kenlie…You’re silly.  Of course I like you.  Let’s take it slowly and see what happens.”   But I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t read my blog, and tonight that’s probably a good thing because I doubt he’d say anything close to that (even though he totally should.)

I try to remind myself that I’m a good catch in spite of my insecurities and imperfections; I know it’s true even though I fight with myself to believe it.  And  I’d like to be important to this guy regardless of our status. I really couldn’t have dreamed up anyone that embodies more of the characteristics that I desire in one man, and I have excellent taste so if nothing else, he should be seriously flattered by that.

And even though it’s much easier to presume the worst, tonight as I drift to sleep, I’m going to allow myself to dream of the possibilities because sometimes “even crazy dreams come true.”

Friend Makin’ Mondays: All The Single Ladies (and Gents)

It’s Monday, and I hope you enjoyed your weekend.  I definitely did.  Saturday I had a fun afternoon with friends, and I spent Sunday with Mom and people I’ve known since I was born.

I also rode over ten miles on my bike in less than 60 minutes which makes me want to push myself to ride twelve miles in under an hour.

Action shot!

Now it’s time for FMM!  If you’re friends with me, then you know that one of my favorite topics of conversation is boys men.  (That sounds so much more grown up than boys, right?)  Anyway, I’m always ready for a good girl talk, and this week I’m bringing it to the blog.

 

 

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

 

FMM: All The Single Ladies (and Gents)

 

1. What is your current relationship status?  Are you happy with that status?  I’m single.  Am I okay with it?  It’s fine.  I don’t really like to date for the sake of dating, but I’d like to have a serious, forever kind of relationship with someone extraordinary someday, of course.

2. Do you find it enjoyable to take care of someone in addition to yourself, or do you prefer to be responsible only for yourself? Hmm…I like being responsible only for myself, but I prefer, for example, to make dinner for two.

3.  What’s the most important physical characteristic in your mate/potential mate?  Hmm…this varies, but I’d say his face…smile, teeth, etc. I have an easy smile, and I like to do it so that’s important to me.  Plus, who wants to take a zillion pictures with a guy who can’t cheese it up for the camera? :)

4. What’s the most important (non-physical) characteristic in your mate/potential mate?  This question requires more than one answer so I’ll share a few…It’s important that he’s smart, compassionate, driven, loyal and easy to talk to.

5. Is it important to you that your significant other have the same hobbies and interests as you?  I don’t think we have to like all of the same things, but having some common interests is important.   For example, he doesn’t have to workout  for three hours everyday, but it would be awesome to do races together sometimes even if he finishes first and waits for me. :)  And I like to travel and to be around people.  I also like to spend time outside, go to concerts, go out to dinner and the theater so if my guy didn’t like any of those things we’d probably be pretty bored together.   Oh, and I don’t think I could date someone who despises NYC.

6. If you could go out on a date with a celebrity who would it be?  I’d go out with Zachary Levi.  He’s Louisiana born, tall, handsome and nerdy, and he has nice teeth.  What more could a girl want?

7. What’s your idea of a good first date?  I like to think I’m open to new things, but I have some ideas.  I like the basics like coffee, dinner, whatever, but going for a long walk in a beautiful park or a bike ride would be a great way to get to know each other more too.  I want it to be easy to talk to the person I’m trying to get to know better.

8. Are there any traits/habits that you’d consider a deal breaker?  I dated a smoker once, and I doubt I’ll ever do that again.  I’m also not into convicted felons or married people. (This was obvious, no?) :)

9. Okay ladies…Facial Hair: Yes, or No?  Hmm, generally no.  It depends on the guy.  I like the clean shaven look, but a five o’clock shadow can be pretty sexy at times too.  (See #6.)

10.  Would you marry someone who is opposed to diamond engagement rings?  Uh, no…..It doesn’t need to be six carats, but he’ll have to put a pretty diamond ring on it. ;)  My hands are far too manicured to lack diamonds…..hahaha

11. What do you wish you could do differently in your next relationship?  Ugh..I wish I wasn’t always so damn insecure.  I haven’t always been that way…Or have I?  I’m determined to change it.  I’m also determined to let someone really get to know me (flaws and everything.)  I struggle with that too, but not nearly as much as I used to.

12. Is there anyone from your past that you’d like to date again now? I’ve been fortunate to date some good guys, but I try to learn from the past and look forward to the future…

13. Describe your worst first date story ever.  (Check out Heather’s answer to this one.  Apparently, it’s a good one!) I don’t really have a terrible first date story so I’ll share another one instead.  A guy that I dated several years after my initial crush on him in 9th grade took me to dinner, and I wasn’t particularly hungry that night.  I don’t think I was feeling well.  In any case, he told me that I should eat more.  When I said I wasn’t hungry, he said “Come on, sweetheart. We know you didn’t get that way not eating.”  As soon as it came out of his mouth he looked mortified, and the contents of my glass ended up on his shirt and tie.

14. Describe the perfect date with your significant other. I don’t think there’s one perfect date in my mind.  I’m a day dreamer so I have plenty of ideas, and I think the company is the most important part of it.  That said, a semi-private picnic and a glass of sauvignon blanc is always at the top of my list.

15.  Would you date someone shorter than you? I’ve always preferred dating guys who are much taller than I am, but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore.  I’m not sure if I’d feel comfortable dating someone shorter, but I don’t mind if they’re not giant anymore. Ha..

16. Share one (or a few) bonus traits that would be fun to find in an significant other (even if they aren’t as important as other traits.)  Hmm, as I’ve said before it would be so cool to date someone who understands my love of handbags and electronics.  I mean, I would date someone if he had no interest in designer things, but understanding my love of  Hermes or Prada would definitely be a plus.

17. What’s one thing you’d like to do with a significant other that you’ve never done with another?  Exercise…I mean, without feeling like it’s a favor.  (Does anyone understand what I mean?)  It would be fun to date someone who wanted to hit the gym together or ride our bikes together just because.

18.  PDA: Yes, or No?  Maybe. A little.  Sometimes.  I like holding hands and such, but I like to keep it appropriate.

19. Do you kiss on the first date? It has been known to happen, though it’s not a sure thing…

20. Who, if anyone, makes your heart flutter?  Why do I answer at least one question a week with Anderson Cooper?   Just kidding.  Well, sort of. ;)  I’m not dating anyone, but my heart may or may not flutter.  I think I’ll keep that to myself for now. ;)

 

Wow! That’s a lot of questions!  Now it’s your turn to answer them!  Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments!  Happy Monday Friends!

 

Friend Makin’ Mondays: Online Dating

If you participate in FMM regularly, then you know that I usually try to have it ready by midnight eastern time, but that didn’t happen today.  Sorry about that!  The last couple of weeks have been incredibly busy so I spent most of Sunday evening working on mid-term essays that are due later today.  Now I have some reading to do, but first, let’s talk about online dating.

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Online Dating

 

  1. Have you ever tried online dating? Yep.
  2. If you’ve done it, what did you like about it? What did you dislike?  I like the idea that someone can get to know you before judging your appearance.  The downside is that someone can like you until they see you, and it’s almost worse knowing that they think you’re awesome, yet unattractive.
  3. If you haven’t done it, would you? If you have done it, would you do it again? Why or why not?  Sure, why not?  I’ve been lucky to meet some incredible people through my blog and online.  A few sucked, sure, but for the most part, it’s been a positive experience.
  4. What precautions would you take before going out with someone that you met online? Hmm, I’d have to speak with them by phone first.  No robots or creepy old guys, you know?
  5. Do you have a favorite dating site?  If so, what is it?  No, I signed up for match.com at one point and okcupid.com at another point, but I decided that I’m far too insecure to put myself out there all the time…
  6. What questions would you ask before agreeing to a date?  I’d ask about their career, hobbies, education, ambitions, etc.
  7. How long would you correspond with someone online before meeting them?  I suppose it depends on the situation….probably not long.
  8. In your opinion, what are the pros to meeting someone online?  It’s easier to get to know someone when physical pressure doesn’t exist immediately.
  9. In your opinion, what are the cons of online dating? It’s tough to get to know someone only to realize that the physical attraction isn’t there for one or both of you.
  10. Share a funny or embarrassing online dating experience with us if you have one.  Um, hmm…My parents read this…so I don’t think so. ;)

Now it’s your turn!  Don’t forget to post your answers then come back and link up in the comments!  Happy Monday friends!

 

 

Dear Future Mr. Kenz

I’m writing this letter to you because it makes me hopeful that you’re out there somewhere.  And lately, in my dreams, I find myself talking to you even though I can’t remember your face when I wake up.   Do we  know each other?  If we do, I don’t realize it yet so fill me in if you figure it out first, okay?

I want you to know everything about me and love me anyway, but let’s start with the basics.  I’m smart (though probably not as smart as I think I am.)   I’m strong-willed, and I don’t give up even when things get tough.  That will be good for us, won’t it?

As we get to know each other you’ll probably notice that I can be emotionally needy.  Seriously, Future Mister Kenz…I need more assurance than the average girl, but I’m trying to work through my insecurities so maybe it won’t be an issue by the time we find each other.  If it is, love me anyway, okay?   And speaking of finding each other, I’d love it if you found me.  I’ve looked for so long!  And people say that love finds you when you’re not looking so…maybe you can find me when I’m not looking?

I’ll also need you to kill spiders, take out the garbage and keep my feet warm when they’re freezing (which happens pretty often.)

And you don’t have to love Pearl Jam, but I need you to respect the fact that I love them, okay?  We’ll probably find common ground in music because my taste runs the gamut, but look…I’ll watch action movies with you if you go to concerts with me.

Now let’s talk about the important stuff…It’s  extremely important to me that you want me.  (You know, want me) in addition to loving me so show me often, okay?  I want to be the subject of your desires.  How could it be any other way if you’re in love with me?  And you have to be faithful to me too.  (Insert zero tolerance policy here.)  Right now, I’m in my early 30’s, and I’d rather stay single forever than to have my heart broken by someone who doesn’t love/want me as much as I want them.

And I don’t really care what you do for work as long as you do something that you’re good at and enjoy.  You don’t have to wear a suit and tie everyday either, but I’ll think it’s hot if you do.  And I hope you clean up well because I do, and we should look good together, right?

Oh! And speaking of being hot, you should know that I’m on a journey to look and feel better than I’ve ever felt before.  I pay attention to what I eat, and I exercise several times a week.  And while I might be at my goal by the time we fall for each other, you have to understand that this will always be an important part of my life.

I don’t drink everyday, and I cannot stand cigarettes.  I’ve gone through a lot to get where I am, and it would be amazing if you’d join me in running a 5k or a 10k or maybe in doing a triathlon.  I mean, I’m not asking you to love it as much as I do, but I hope you’ll embrace fitness.  When I’m in a race, whether you’re participating or not,  will you please try be there at the end to take a picture of me?  (Yes, I can be vain like that.)  And I take pictures of everything so get ready for that too.

There’s also something that you need to know.  I love designer handbags, sunglasses, clothes, etc.  You don’t need to know the difference between Michael Kors and Prada, and you don’t need to buy it or understand why I wish to carry an Hermes bag that costs about 5 grand.  It’s just something that I dream about, and I intend to make it happen in the future so you may want to start wrapping your head around that now.   I try not to put on heirs, but I like pretty things.  And for the record, I don’t think it has to be designer to be lovely.

You should also know that I have a few girlfriends that I loved long before you came into the picture.  Don’t worry.  I’ll introduce you, and we’ll all be friends…But sometimes I’ll want to spend time with them without you.  I’m independent, and that’s probably something you’ll like about me.  I just have to be sure we’re clear.  You can spend time with your friends or enjoying your hobbies too, but it will be fun to eat dinner with you most nights and to kiss you in the mornings.  You’ll probably just skip the pedicures, shopping for clothes and stuff like that.

Oh, and it doesn’t matter how much we love each other, I won’t share my toothbrush with you.  I just think it’s gross.  I almost always have spare toothbrushes because I replace mine often, but if we ever need another toothbrush, we’ll just go to Walgreens or something. Deal?

I read a lot, and sometimes I feel like singing.  And you should probably like my voice because “sometimes” is pretty often.  Maybe we’ll sing duets.  I also like to knit and play Scrabble (though I hate the Scrabble dictionary and refuse to use it.)  And I love almost every show on USA Network.  My favorites right now are White Collar, Suits and Necessary Roughness.  Maybe they’ll create another amazing show that we can DVR and watch together someday.

My family is important to me.  I love them with my whole heart, and they love me back.  And though Mom might take a little time to decide whether or not she likes you, they’ll all love you as long as you love me.

I won’t be perfect.  I’ll make mistakes (and try not to repeat the ones I’ve made in the past.)  And when I realize that you’re the one, I’ll do what I can to keep you.  I’ll be fiercely loyal.  I’ll  treat you with respect, always expecting it in return…I’ll cook for you (sometimes) and rub your shoulders when you need to relax. I’ll remember how you like your coffee so I can make it for you and listen to you when you’re frustrated and offer my support.  I’ll spend time with your family, pick up your clothes at the dry cleaners if they don’t deliver, and I’ll laugh at your jokes because I “get” you.

I deserve to be loved fully and completely and just as I am just as much as the next person.  I haven’t always understood that, but I do now.  And I’m looking forward to the day that you realize the same thing, and I can’t wait for the moment that I look at you and “just know.”

So maybe I don’t know you yet, but I already love you.  And I can’t wait wait to kiss you good night.

Until then….

 

 

 

Sqeeeeeee!

If you’re friends with me on Facebook or Twitter or just in my daily life then you may know that yesterday was a pretty awesome day for me.  I had a meeting that was cancelled and rescheduled for Monday afternoon so I spent the afternoon with Cal, and we had a lovely day.  We visited with my friend, Jodi, before heading to lunch where I’m happy to say that I stayed on track!  (Jodi! We have to take a picture together soon.  Just saying!)

Just before lunch and after a phone call with my lovely friend, Leslie McClure, (I want to be like her when I grow up) Cal  gave me a gigantic, beautiful bouquet of lilies and roses and asked me to be his girlfriend.  Actually, he asked it on his make shift card (which I adored, by the way) first, and you can guess what I said, right?  I said yes. =)  So it’s official…I have a boyfriend, and I’m pretty giddy about it. =)  I knew he’d ask at some point, but I didn’t know when.  And I didn’t expect it today!

I’ve talked about him on my blog a few times, but I think I’m ready to share a little more.  First, he’s much younger than I am which you can clearly see in the photo! Ha…But he’s met several members of my family and a few close friends, and they all think he’s brilliant- I agree.  He’s in law school, and he’s 6’2″.  (You know I like that, right? ha…) And if you know me, you also know that I’m attracted to guys who are extraordinarily intelligent, and he fits the bill there too.  In an earlier post, I mentioned that he knows the origin of odd produce (I find that attractive too, right KeepItUpDavid?)  and all kinds of things…He’s like my own, personal Google.

He cooks and uses good grammar…He’s supportive and accepting, and my family likes him too.  When Aunt Janice asked him what his intentions with me were (2 minutes after she met him for the first time) she liked his answer.  And in this family, if Aunt Janice likes you, we like you. ;)  Dad will meet him in December, but I think he likes him already. =)

So…we share some interests and have some similar dreams/goals so we’ll take it slow and see where it goes.  For now, my plan is to concentrate on today and make it another healthy one.   I’m planning a long bike ride if the weather allows it.  If not, I’ll hit the gym, and I’ll make healthy food choices regardless.

Are you happy with your progress this week?

 

 

Friend Makin’ Mondays: Dating

It’s Monday, and you know what that means! It’s time for Friend Makin’ Mondays, but before that, I just have to say that I had a fantastic weekend.  The fun started Friday when Cal and I met in the middle to spend several hours with our friend, Anne and her family.  We sat by their pool and enjoyed drinks and good company.  Then Anne, the embroidery goddess who made adorable bags for me, helped me create a unique gift for a friend’s wedding shower. Okay, I picked out the towels, and she did all of the work.  :)  Aren’t they pretty?!  Anne did an amazing job making these towels special! :)

 

Cal and I spent some quality time together too.  We ate lunch at my favorite local Thai restaurant, spent time at the mall, watched an awesome football game and cooked a late dinner featuring chicken and fresh green beans.  Being around him makes me feel good, and I like where we are (and where we’re headed) which leads me to this week’s topic – Dating.

 

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Dating

 

 

  1. What is your current relationship status? (Be as specific as you’d like to be!) Dating…not exclusively though I have no interest in dating anyone else at this point, and it seems like the feeling is mutual.
  2. List a few qualities that you look for in a significant other…tall, brilliant and really nice to me…
  3. If you could choose to date one character in TV or film, who would you choose?  And which characteristics are most appealing?   I’m attracted to guys like Harvey from Suits on USA.  He’s tough and brilliant and sexy.  Also, Anderson Cooper, if you’re reading this, I’ll marry you.  Just saying…
  4. How long should you date before becoming exclusive?  I don’t think there’s one right answer.  I think it depends on the people dating…Who cares what anyone else thinks?
  5. What are your thoughts on public displays of affection? I like to hold hands and sneak a kiss here and there, but I think the private stuff should stay private most of the time.
  6. Do you kiss on the first date? Sometimes, but it’s not a requirement.
  7. Biggest turn-off? Hairy backs.  Yuck…
  8. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?  I like ‘em tall and dark haired…I want to feel safe when I’m with him.
  9. How long do you/did you wait before becoming intimate? I don’t think there’s one right answer here either…And as fun as it would be to talk about it online, I think I won’t. Ha…
  10. Describe your dream date.  My dream date would be a picnic in the park or by the water with fresh sandwiches or wine and cheese on a big blanket.  (Maybe I should keep one in my car just in case. ;)
Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions! Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments.

Guys, Good Food and Inspirational People

Yesterday was a busy day for me, and while it was a good day overall, some parts were better than others.  After I accomplished what I had to accomplish in the afternoon, I spent some time with Cal.  We shopped for groceries (well, he did while I bought only vegetables and Brie) then he created a lovely meal for us at his place.  I had never been there before, but I’m going to go often if he prepares a healthy and delicious spread like last night. ;)

Check out the fresh veggies that he chopped and drizzled with Turkish Olive Oil from Whole Foods and the savignon blanc which is my favorite white wine…

I decided to have wine after I declined initially so I drank about half of what you see in his glass. :)

While we were at the store, Cal willingly took time to peruse every aisle.  (I like the way this guy shops!)  And I found some interesting fruits and vegetables which, of course, led me to explain my love of oddly colored produce – courtesy of KeepItUpDavid.  Cal knew the origin of every fruit and veggie that I found interesting so I learned a lot.  And while he knew what it was called, he didn’t know how to prepare this…

Ideas? Anyone? The packing peanut leads me to think it's more delicate than it looks.

Yesterday was a good day, and last evening was great.  And while I ate pretty well until the end of the night, I didn’t exercise so I plan to double up today by riding my bike and going to the gym.  I also have a healthy day of eating planned out for today, and I’m going to make homemade turkey pumpkin chili for dinner!  It’s always fun to try new pumkin recipes in the fall! :)  If it tastes as good as I think it will, I’ll be sure to share the recipe soon!

I’m looking forward to seeing Cal again later in the week, and I plan to see Uncle Wesley as well.  This is the longest I’ve gone without seeing him since I arrived in Louisiana, and I’m ready to hug him and sing to him.  We’re making some progress on his upcoming cancer benefit, but I hope to make a big push for it tomorrow so wish me luck!

He still seems to be doing well though some days are much harder than others, but something happened yesterday that really bothered our family (and Uncle Wesley, I’m sure.)  Hospice is supposed to send a nurse to his house once a week, but for some reason they chose not to send a nurse yesterday.  Instead, they sent a chaplain which was disheartening.  Regardless, Uncle W still believes that God has a plan, and he’s committed to helping others see it as long as he’s here.   He is such an incredible example of someone who has every reason to give up and doesn’t.  He is faith personified, and I’m so thankful for him.

The last several weeks has reminded me that my problems are nothing compared to the problems that many people face (and overcome) everyday.  And as I spend time looking , I’m finding inspiration in people who really do believe that they can make a difference in our world, and two of those people are Rhonda Sapirstein and Ellen Stohl.

Ellen, who has spent most of her life in a wheelchair became the first disabled woman to appear in Playboy (take that disability!) and has inspired others to live life fully as a professor, a wife and mother – and as someone who doesn’t acknowledge the word “limitations.”   And it seems that she inspired Rhonda to create an organization to make life a bit easier for those who are active in spite if their disabilities.  I just love this story!

Most of us know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but did you know that October is also Disability Awareness Month?  I had no idea until I heard about it through friends recently, but I think it’s important to get the message out!  I’ve learned about some awesome things in the last few weeks that are happening to help people in wheelchairs.

Check out this Cozee-On-The-Go!  It’s an adaptive garment that makes it easy for people in wheelchairs to stay warm.  And I think this is a spectacular idea because while I may not benefit from one personally, I can think of many people like Uncle W who could greatly benefit from something warm and easy.

I’ve been so inspired over the last few weeks by people who are facing obstacles and overcoming them, and I think we should all take a moment to be inspired by them.  If you’re interested in learning more about the Cozee-On-The-Go, or how you can donate to people who need them check out at http://www.revmoradaptive.com/.

I hope everyone enjoys today as much as I enjoyed yesterday.  Will you workout today?  Do you have healthy meals planned?

 

Dating, Err, Not

I’m the girl who always has a boyfriend. Correction, I used to be the girl who always had a boyfriend. And the list of guys from former relationships is (mostly) good. With exception of one or two, I’ve always dated guys who were good marriage material though I’ve never married. And in some ways, I think dating guys that society deemed “a good catch” proved that I was a good catch in spite of the 200+ pounds of excess weight that I carried on my body.

Now, after losing about 130 pounds and counting, I find myself completely dateless with no particular prospects. I’ve only been on one date since December! One date! The guy was tall and handsome and nice, but he couldn’t name the vice president of the United States, and he thought I was weird for being surprised by that.

I’d love to tell you that it’s a liberating feeling – being alone, moving across the country (next month) though the truth is that it’s lonely. And it has forced me to recognize how much I’ve based my self-worth on being in relationships in the past.

Last year, after a serious breakup, I dated several guys in close succession. And while I thought that it was a good idea, I realized later that I was putting way too much pressure on myself to find love. Now, six months and one date later, I’m fighting off this feeling that maybe I’ve lost my chances. Maybe love will never find me. Or maybe (hopefully) it will…..?

I have come a long way on my weight-loss journey, but I have a long way to go. And I am starting to realize that this self-induced pressure to find my soul mate while I’m still heavier than average is understandable – yet silly. Maybe I won’t meet Mr. Right until I’m less than 150 pounds. Or maybe I’ll meet him tomorrow. Maybe I’ve met him, and I don’t know it yet.  Or maybe I’ll meet him when I settle into my new home on the other coast. (That seems logical, doesn’t it?)

Maybe the man who loves me will never know me as an overweight person. I’ve believe, for a long time, that he should, but  my Curvy Nerd friend made an excellent point earlier this week when she said “at this point, I have to do it for me and hope that whomever I meet will understand my past.”  Maybe the same will be true for me.  I’ve separated my self-worth and my my (lack of) dating life so I guess we’ll find out in time.

This journey is definitely about me.  And what’s most important right now, for me, is to recognize my value regardless. I know that I have faults, but I’m also starting to believe that I’m loveable. And I would guess that I have to know that – and really believe it – before I can find true love with someone else.  At least, that’s what the smart people say. ;)

So I’ll continue down my road to self-love, forgiveness and acceptance and hope that somewhere along the way the right person will join me.  Until then, I’ll continue to look forward to the future while appreciating the present.