I’ve admitted in previous posts that I’m not sure what the future holds, but I finally feel like I’m starting to see the light at the end of this tunnel of uncertainty. Changes are coming, and decisions have to be made. And the time is now.
New York is the only place that has ever felt like home to me. From the first day I was there, I knew I was where I was supposed to be. I can’t explain why a girl from the middle of nowhere would find herself at home in such a place, but some things just can’t be explained. Sometimes you just know.
During the last few months I’ve been quietly trying to make plans for the future…figure out where I’m going..where I’ll settle down…and though it hasn’t be easy to admit over the last few months, my heart still lives in New York. When I’m honest with myself I know it’s where I want to be, but I’ve overcomplicated it in my mind so many times that it has been nearly impossible to make a plan.
I’ve considered going to Austin, at least temporarily, and I think it’s a good idea to move there at some point over the next month before moving back to New York in September (at which time I will go back to school.) Does this sound like a good plan? Yep.
There are countless (obvious) reasons to love NY so I’ll just share my thoughts on Austin. I’d like to go somewhere easy for a while – where I can find people who are like-minded and friendly. And Austin is definitely a hot spot for intelligent, cultured, single people who want to enjoy a scaled-down city life.
And I know awesome people there already. A few of them are on the same journey as I am so I’d have an inside track to the best Weight Watchers meetings, a workout buddy and friends who will watch chick flicks and eat sushi with me and join 5k races, etc.
The weather is another plus because I could ride my bike to work and to the gym most days and find pretty trails to enjoy in my free time. It’s a great place to be active, and that would be a big plus in weight-loss. Seriously, as I write about Austin I think I could fall in love with Texas again and even stay there…maybe?
But the point is that I don’t need to commit to spending the rest of my life in Austin or anywhere right now. I’m 30 years old, single and going back to school to take my life in an entirely different direction. That’s a lot to take in especially when I add the pressure of finding all of the answers today.
Right now I know that I love New York, and I can’t imagine not going back. I also know that I have enjoyed living close enough to Dad over the last few months to see him once a week or head to his house when I just feel like visiting with him for a few days so staying Tulsa is an option too.
I also know that I really like the Mountain Man, but he would agree that Texas is a great place to live. He’s a Texan, and he’d want you to know it. And while we are slowly building a strong relationship together, he would probably laugh or scream if he thought I’d consider staying there to see how things go with him. We haven’t been dating long enough for that kind of pressure…not even close. But Mountain Man and I will talk about that if the time comes.
Dad is a Texan too, by the way, who absolutely loved living in Austin. He’s definitely in favor of me heading back to Texas, but he’ll support me in whatever I choose to do. Mom will too (even if she takes a little more convincing, right Mom?)
So now that I have a few options laid out, I will take a few days to think them over. I’m quite sure that if I stay in Tulsa it won’t be forever. And while I’m not willing to say I’d stay in Austin forever either, it could be kind of awesome now. And it’s a place I could stay long-term if I wanted to. And New York is definitely on my mind, but the earliest I’d go back is September. And I have to live somewhere until then.
I’m not sure if I wrote this post to ask for advice or just to simplify these options in my mind. As I said earlier, I have overcomplicated it so much. I’ve looked at my future as a problem instead of an opportunity. I was dreading these changes, and now I’m looking forward to them.
My workouts and eating habits have been solid this week, and I’m ready to move forward with the rest of my life too.