Tag Archives: liquids

I Want To Cry…and Eat Food…

I’m a week into the liquids phase. I’m down 13 pounds so far, but today wasn’t easy. I went into the office and chatted with my boss, who is also a dear friend, and I left after less than an hour. I just didn’t want to be there today, so I left.

A big part of my job requires talking to people, which is my favorite thing about it. I just had trouble finding my smile this morning. Thankfully, my amazing support system extends to work, and I was able leave without issue.

When I left I met Michael at the movies to see “Bridget Jones’s Baby,” then we watched “Snowden.” I don’t think I’ve ever watched two movies in the same day at a theater, but tickets are dirt cheap on Tuesdays. It was a great way to zone out and to take a break from thinking about the lack of food and my upcoming surgery. Surprisingly, I wasn’t bothered by the smell of popcorn, but as we were leaving the theater I was hungry even though I brought protein shakes with me.

When I came home Michael joined me here too, and we had a great evening. I’m so thankful for that man. He’s the kind of man I’ve always dreamed of spending my life with, and it’s even more amazing than I hoped it would be. He’s my strong arm, and he knows what I need before I say it.

Tonight I needed to curl up and relax, and he knew it. I’m much sleepier right now than I usually am, and I don’t know if there’s anything I can do about it. I’m just going to rest as much as possible and remind myself that I’m halfway through this first phase.

When Michael left I cried for a few minutes. I can’t explain exactly why, but the tears have come and gone a few times today. It probably doesn’t help that it’s almost that time in a girl’s life. (Ladies, you know what I mean.)

Right now I’m hungry, but I’m going to go to sleep feeling victorious once again. I’m just hoping that tomorrow will be better than today.

 

“I Don’t Want Your Pity; I Want Pizza.”

I was at a party tonight, and I’m happy to say that I lived through the torture. Unfortunately, food has dictated my life for longer than I’d like to admit, and right now I’m making some strides to change that. For me, that means that I’m going to let it (err, the lack of it) dictate what I do for a little longer. I doubt I’ll be going to any more pizza parties for the next couple of months.

At the party someone needed me to know that she didn’t feel sorry for me. Luckily for her I didn’t want her pity, I wanted pizza. I didn’t eat it, but it was tough to sit and watch everyone else do it. I left before the cake tonight because it was just too much to take. (Please excuse me while I adjust to this big life change. I might need a few days.)

Overall I’ve done well on my liver-shrinking, liquid-only diet so far. I have a long road ahead of me, but I’m glad I’m finally doing it. I’ve made it through a couple of days, and it’s an empowering feeling. I’m still hungry, but I’m gaining confidence in myself (and losing weight.) I’ve also dropped 6 pounds. I’m looking forward to seeing a lower number next week and the week after, etc.

I do love sugar-free popsicles right now, which I didn’t expect. (Everyone else seemed to know though.) I’ve also tried some variations in my protein shakes, as well as mixes that I can pour into a bottle of water. I don’t plan to drink these long-term, but if they help me get through this phase I’ll do it.

It’s been a long and productive day, and I’m tired. I felt a little sleepier than normal today, but the only difficulty I’ve faced is moments of legitimate hunger and breaking up with foods I love that don’t love me back.

I can do that.

I am doing this.