Tag Archives: Motivation

Motivation Monday

Monday was my least favorite day of the week until last month when my gentleman friend started exercising with me after work. Mondays are kind of long, but they’re much more enjoyable now that I’m in a healthy routine.

The guy and I workout at different gyms, but he lives close enough to me that it’s easy to join me for a workout at the gym upstairs. I want to start jumping in the pool after our workouts, but we’re usually ready to eat dinner by the time we’re done.

We eat together a few times a week, and the majority of meals are at my place because I love to cook. He’ll eat anything I serve too, which makes it easy to want to feed him. Ha…

I’m working toward some pretty specific fitness goals that I”ll discuss here more in July or August, and it’s amazing to have his support, in addition to the encouragement I receive from my family, friends and co-workers.

I’m in a healthy place right now, and I want to continue improving in this area. I feel incredible after a sweaty workout, and sweaty selfies are still my favorite. (I suppose I should take some more of them.)

YMCA New Orleans

Gaining control of my weight is so hard, but I constantly remind myself that I can do all things through Christ. Seriously, I can’t even express how much my life has changed since I realized that God loves me and desires a healthy and abundant life for me.

It’s a long road, and I suppose it won’t end until life does. I’m okay with that now. The resentment I felt for far too long has been replaced by resilience. I know that I need to stay humble and accountable, and I am thankful for the loving people in my life who understand and empathize with that.

I have more energy than I did a month ago, and I’m looking forward to seeing more improvement in that area as I increase my level of activity.

Now it’s a new day, and it’s time to hit the ground running…(err, walking briskly…You know what I mean.)

I Can, I will and I Am…

Before I talk about weighing in and other things, I’m going to share a picture of my new hair.  It’s hard to take a photo of myself that shows the caramel highlights, but you will see that I had about 6 inches cut off.  It’s long enough to put in a ponytail (which is imperative, of course,) but it’s also short enough to feel fresh.  Between a fresh hairdo and making some healthy decisions, I’m feeling pretty good about myself these days, and that’s a relief.

20130402_145632

Yesterday was weigh-in day, and I’m so happy to report that I am down 2.4 pounds this week.  It’s nice to see the numbers moving in the right direction, and I’m continually reminding myself that it will work if I keep making the effort.

20130404_125559-1

I track my food in WW e-tools, but I have had a good time playing with my daily calorie deficit on MyFitnessPal over the last few days.  A friend, Mr. Good Example, and I have spent a lot of time trying to increase our calorie deficits, and I’m excited to see what I can do in the upcoming week.

It’s been a month since I re-joined Weight Watchers, and the accountability seems to be working.  I think I’m just ready now, and I’m going to do my best to hold on to the knowledge that I can do this.

I lied to myself and others and made countless excuses  for a long, long time.  I’m sorry I did it, and I don’t do it anymore.  Weight-loss is possible for you, and it’s possible for me too.

1684_10201129935837160_1285231212_nI can do this. I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

 

 

 

Numbers Mean Something

I know I’m going to get some flack for caring about the numbers on the scale as much as I do right now, but I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m going to say what I feel whether it’s popular or not.  I’m relieved that most of you understand and support me in that because I’m tired of fearing this number.

I have been within a few pounds of this number for what feels like an eternity, and I’m tired of it.  Right now it seems easier to climb Mt. Everest than to reach the 270’s, but I am determined to do it.  This is what I weighed at my last Weight Watchers meeting before I left New York for good, and it has haunted me since I left.

For a long time I let myself believe that I didn’t deserve to lose, and I didn’t.  I have already admitted that I’ve spent far too long just getting by, but I deserve it now because I’m working for it now.  I’m so close too, and I have decided that I will allow myself to succeed.

I forgive myself for the time I’ve wasted and for the mistakes I’ve made, and I am claiming success.  And right now, success feels like letting go of the past and moving into a stronger, healthier future that I am creating for myself.

I’ve taken a lot of steps toward the life I want since January, and shedding weight needs to be among my primary focuses again.

I want to do better, and for the last several days I have been.  I just need to keep it up, and that’s the plan.

Maybe the numbers don’t matter to you; maybe they shouldn’t matter to me, but the fact is they do.  I’m going to crush this goal, and the reward will be believing that I can finish what I started.

Do you have any short-term goals?   If so, what are they?

If You Want To Be Inspired Just Get To Know Kelly

Sometimes inspiration hits us when we’re least expecting it, and that happened to me recently.  A few weeks ago I celebrated my birthday in New York with some of my favorite friends, and I was totally blown away by one of them.

I don’t have a lot of close friends, but I have a few extraordinary ones who accept me in spite of my faults and understand the battles I face even though their battles are different.  One of those friends is Kelly aka CurvyFitGirl.

If you follow me on twitter then you see us talking nonsense on a regular basis, but what you don’t see is that this girl is there for me no matter what. She lets me laugh, cry, yell or drone on about whatever is on my mind, and I do the same for her.  We are totally different people, but she gets me.  And I am so thankful that she’s in my life.

If you read her blog you may know that she has lost over 100 pounds too, but you may not realize that she has had to fight tooth and nail to do it.  (If you don’t read her blog, go do it.)

It’s easy to look at someone like Kelly and think “Well, she’s beautiful. Of course she’ll reach her goal! It seems easy for her.”  But I know Kelly, and I know the struggles and the fears and the obstacles that she has faced in accomplishing what she has so far.  I know what she has overcome, and to say it’s inspiring doesn’t even begin to cover it. (Seriously, if you don’t read her blog, you’re missing out.)

Kelly and I met through twitter in 2010 when I asked for a recipe to impress a guy I was dating at the time.  We didn’t date long, but what I found as a result was a friendship that I plan to keep forever. (Shut up, Kelly. I’m mushy, and you know I can’t help it. hehe)  Kelly and I have been solid ever since, and I’ve watched her change and grow (inside and out) more than I could have imagined when we met.

Kelly and me in Times Square

Kelly is a faithful Weight Watchers member, and she’s proof that it works.  She tracks her food intake everyday (like it or not) and keeps her body in motion through Firm DVD’s and Bikram Yoga.  She has literally melted away since she started Bikram, but it didn’t come easily for her.  It doesn’t come easily now either.

Kelly and me in March of 2012

When I arrived (late) to my birthday dinner a few weeks ago, I stepped out of Ed’s SUV, giddy.  I was so happy to have my worlds colliding that night, and I couldn’t wait to hug Kelly.

I was excited about my long time friends meeting my newer friends and friends from far away, and when I looked at the person in the car next to me I didn’t even realize who it was.  Seriously, it didn’t register that it was Kelly until she jumped out of her car and hugged me.  I don’t even think I said hi before saying “OMG I didn’t recognize you!”   I had just seen Kelly a few months before that and a few months before that, but whoa! She looked like a different person!

Kelly and me in July of 2012

I have always loved wearing dresses and makeup and pretty nail polish, but I have watched Kelly transform herself from a girl who was comfortable in dark, over-sized sweats and cotton shirts to a girl who wears form-fitting dresses, make-up, bikinis and a killer tan.  (As I’ve already stated, Kelly, if I didn’t love you I’d hate you. I need some sun, man!)

She’s still the same dry, New Yorker that she was when we met, but she seems to possess a confidence in herself that was buried when we met.  She’s also more in touch with her emotions, and if you read her blog you know that’s not easy for her either.

Kelly started her journey near the weight I’m at now, and it’s incredible for me to see how far she has come.  It’s incredible to think that if I lose another 100 that my body will be completely transformed, and seeing Kelly reminds me of that.  You may have noticed that my weight has not changed significantly since we met, but she doesn’t judge me for that.  She doesn’t judge me for anything (except my love of American Idol, but she watches Dancing with the Stars so we’re even.)

I’ve said so many times that I’ve lost enough to know weight-loss is possible.  I know what it feels like to lose 100 pounds, but I’ve been stuck in the 280’s for what feels like an eternity.  And knowing that Kelly struggled to break into the 100’s for so long inspires me to believe in myself.  Knowing that it’s possible to break through barriers that feel impossible just as she has done inspires me to keep trying.

Check out her blog to see more photos of her transformation.

It must be obvious that I’m pretty proud of the fact that I’m friends with someone who has accomplished so much on her weight-loss journey, but let me be clear…I am proud to be friends with someone who goes after what she wants, who doesn’t quit just because it’s hard and who clearly understands that life is what we make it.

Kelly still struggles.  She has good days and bad days just like we all do, but she’s a fighter.  She does not give up.  She’s a winner, and though I know isn’t perfect, she is a shining example of the kind of person I strive to be – independent, driven and beautiful inside and out.  I love her, and I’m thankful for her.  She gives me hope.

 

An Important Letter

Dear Obesity,

I hate you for doing what you did to my body and for making me feel like I didn’t have the power to change it.  I resent you too because I still have so much work to do to repair the damage you’ve done in my life, but you don’t control me anymore.  We are finished.

The habits that I picked up before you entered my world tempted me to believe that food could cure my sadness, cover up my feelings of inadequacy and denial and even enhance happy moments, but the truth is being unhappy with myself is a waste of time.  Food doesn’t make me happy when I’m sad, nor does it make up for the things in my life that I wish I could go back and change.

Even throughout the first part of my weight-loss journey, I struggled to let you go.  I’ve been afraid to shed your layers because they feel as though they are a part of me.  When I think of who I am and what defines me, you are all I see.  I have let you become a fixture in my universe, and when the world looks at me they see you, obesity.  When I look in the mirror, I see you too, and I’m ready to see a different picture.

I like being the girl who has lost 100 pounds, but I’m ready to be the girl who has lost 200 pounds.  That’s a good story, but it’s just a part of my story.  I want to be the woman who grabbed the reigns and took hold of every part of her existence and made it what she wanted it to be.  I want to be the woman who respects herself whether anyone else does or not, and I want to be worthy of that respect.

I want to be worthy of love too, but most of all, I want to be free.  I took some big, personal steps toward that freedom earlier this week, and I forgive myself.  I have begun the process of letting myself heal from that pain and embarrassment that you have caused me.  I am letting go of the past.

When you entered my life you enhanced all of the negative feelings I had about myself and the world.  You came along when I was vulnerable and hurting, promising me moments of happiness, but you robbed me of joy.  I take responsibility for that because I let you do it, but that’s over now.

Now I’m going to wake up everyday with purpose, and I’m finally going to prove to myself  and everyone else that I can finish what I started.  I want to be free, obesity, and you’re not going to stop me any longer.

It’s my responsibility to end the cycle of pain that you have caused me so I’m trying.  I believe I can do it, and I’m going to start acting like it today.  Sure, you have made me more compassionate and driven to help others, but it’s time to help myself now.  I don’t want you in my life anymore.

For years I felt like I deserved you.  When I looked into my own eyes I saw a failure and a quitter who gave up before she ever tried.  I saw someone who deserved to be fat and unhappy.  I wasted so many years of my life that I can’t get back, but I was wrong.  I don’t deserve to be fat and unhappy, and it’s my responsibility to make sure that I’m not.

I’m glad we don’t always get what we deserve because I’m not perfect, but I know I am loved.  I am free, and I am determined.

Farewell, obesity.

Sincerely,

Kenlie