Tag Archives: weigh-in

Intense Pain, Pretty Nail Polish and Weekend Plans

I’m currently in more pain than I can ever remember being in…ever, and I’ve never felt as weighed down as I do right now. I’m still not the heaviest I’ve ever been, but I feel every pound that I’ve regained over the last few years.

I know that my pain is a direct result of obesity, and I’m disappointed in myself for not taking charge again sooner. I’ve fought hard, but I need to fighter harder…or smarter…or something.I went in again for blood work, and I’m awaiting results from a myriad of tests that they did during my visits. They took blood from my hand, which was odd. I’m glad they’re checking everything, but I’m so ready for relief from the skin stuff I’ve been dealing with for so long.

Skin irritation doesn’t sound particularly bad, but it hurts to stand, drive, lie down, etc. I finished Day 2 of the 10-day prescription, so I’m guessing I’ll start to feel better soon. I definitely hope so.

red OPI polishThankfully, it’s the weekend, and my plan is to stay out of the heat. I don’t usually work on Fridays, but I will get a few things done that I can do from home. I did some cleaning before my shower tonight, so I won’t have to worry about that tomorrow either.

My nails are painted, which always makes me feel good. I’m excited about a few books that I have to read, and Michael will come over for dinner after work.

Saturday I’m having a few friends over to grill on the roof, and the nice thing about the height of my building is that it’s never hot up there. It’s always breezy, and we’ll stay cool in the swimming pool. (Uh, I just rhymed.) It should be an easy weekend, so I’ll have some time to heal.

It’s been a long, physically challenging week, but there’s a lot to be thankful for too. I’m down another 2.6 pounds this week, and I’m thankful for the Weight Watchers meeting I found even if I’m the odd ball. Everyone else is significantly older than I am, which was evident today. I don’t mind though, and I don’t think they do either.

I cannot say it enough. I’m so grateful for my doctor, the medicine and the hope for healing change that seems to be just on the horizon.

 

 

Week 2 with Weight Watchers

Today was the beginning of Week 2 for me, and it was the first meeting I’ve been to in ages. I’m happy to say that I’m down 5 pounds for the week, and I’m looking forward to losing more in the coming week. The meeting itself wasn’t earth-shattering, but the people were nice. weight watchersThey were discussing food finds that I learned about during my first jaunt with Weight Watchers in 2010. Seriously, they were talking about the same brands and products. They also discussed  fat-free dressings made by Bolthouse Farms that I wouldn’t dream of eating because it’s simply not food, but I didn’t mind these discussions. It was all so familiar, but I liked that. Unfortunately, the awesome lady who led the meeting was just filling in for the leader who was out of town. I am familiar with the other leader, and she’s been with Weight Watchers for 31 years. She knows her stuff, and she has a reputation for being tough. Maybe that’s what I’ll need. I’m just hoping I like this meeting even though there was no one my age there.

 

leafy greens with strawberries

This spring mix with strawberries, walnuts and more is one of my old favorites.

I joined just in time to participate in a 12-week Try-A-Thon, which is comprised of weekly goals to try something new. In my old New York meetings I had a reputation for loving Bravo stickers, and it’s still true. I was reminded of that today when I started thinking about trying new workouts and foods.

Last week I tried water aerobics, which was fun. It’s not a very intense workout, but it’s really enjoyable. I’ve also made an effort to create more interesting salads. I’ve made a few without lettuce, which is fun. I’m also trying to recreate some of my old favorites.

I still love everything I make from SkinnyTaste, and right now following recipes are in my regular rotation.

Spiraled Summer Roll Bowls with Hoisin Peanut Sauce

Spicy California Shrimp Stacks

My goal for the coming week is to eat more leafy greens and vegetables, in general. I also want to exercise at least 3 times, though 4 would be even better. I’m also committed to tracking everything I eat.

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I felt pressure lift when I stepped on the scale today. It sucks to face the fact that I’ve gained so much back, but I am also relieved that I’m dealing with it now before gaining every single pound back.

I feel hopeful and encouraged, which seems like a good place to be.

A Question For Weight Watchers Members

I’ve missed my last two meetings.  I have good reasons that would probably sound like excuses (one regarding an underground fire and one regarding my last trip,) but this post isn’t about that.  It’s about the fact that I miss my meetings when I don’t attend them.

I’ve stepped away from Weight Watchers twice, but I came back because the meetings keep me accountable.  Attending weekly meetings helps me take steps in the right direction (at least most weeks.)  Some of you don’t need that; I’ve learned that I absolutely need that.

After missing two meetings in a row I started to consider something that I had not previously considered – attending a meeting/weigh-in that is not my regular meeting.  I tried it a couple of times during my first year with Weight Watchers.

I was on vacation for the week, but there are meetings everywhere – even on the Jersey Shore, so I took a few hours out of my week long beach coma to attending a meeting.  It was horrible!  I left before the meeting was over feeling completely disgusted by the leaders practices, and I decided that I’d wait for my meeting next time.

I tried another meeting when snow prevented us from having our regular meeting, and I didn’t like that one either.  I preferred my meeting, and at that point, I decided that I would stick to what worked.  I didn’t visit other meetings until I left New York, and it was a struggle to find one that fit my needs.

After a lot of wasted time and a modicum of effort, I have found a meeting that works for me.  I like the leader, and I like the people.  I like the fact that it’s so conveniently located, and I like that it’s an afternoon meeting on my favorite weigh-in day – Thursday.

If you’ve followed along on my journey, then you already know this – I am extraordinarily picky about the Weight Watchers meetings I choose to attend.  Every leader I met has been well-intentioned and friendly, but I need more than that.  And I’ve found it.

My life, though more settled than it has been in years, is still crazy at times.  I travel more than the average person, and there will be times that I simply don’t make it to my meeting.  In my mind it is not a license to eat without consequence, but I do find that I am more relaxed in my choices when I’m not facing the scale in the next few days.

It has finally occurred to me that it’s a waste of time to make poor choices, and I’m trying not to.  Does that mean I should try incorporating other meetings when I can’t make mine?  I really don’t like the idea, but it’s something that many successful WW-er’s do.  Am I missing something?

So my question for Weight Watchers member is simple.  Do you go to meetings when you can’t attend your regularly scheduled one?  If so, do you think it helps you stay on track with your goals?  I really want to hear your thoughts, especially if you’re a WW-er!

 

 

Common Sense and Resentment

Last week I was talking with a friend about the quiet struggles I have faced as someone who needs to lose an incredible amount of weight.  It seems as though many of us reach that first giant milestone before allowing ourselves to hover around the same weight.  I’m not the only one in the world who has done this, and I’d like to delve into some of the reasons I’ve allowed myself to do it for so long.

I feel like I’m coming out of a tough place in which I have spent far too long being stagnant.  I’m a month into my new Weight Watchers meeting now, and the weight is coming off slowly again.  The most important part of the prior sentence is that it is coming off again, but some days, some weeks, I want food more than I want to see healthy results.  I experienced that earlier this week, and the only solution is to admit it and move on.

Anyone who has ever been overweight or been close to someone who has been overweight probably knows that emotions play a big role in the way that we consume food.  I don’t sit around and eat and eat and eat everyday.  I wouldn’t have kept off the majority of what I’ve lost if that were the case.  I’m not eating 2,000 calories a day more than I should, but I am eating a few hundred more than I should if I want to lose weight.  Period.

It’s easy to tell someone how to change it.  “Eat less. Move more.”  Those words make sense, of course, but we all know the obvious stuff already.  The note that I need on my cabinet would say something like, “The food will taste good for a few minutes, but think of how incredible you feel when you’re really in control.”

It’s so easy to forget that weight-loss is a mental challenge more than a physical one. I push myself hard at the gym, and these days Ron pushes me harder.

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It’s an incredible feeling to accomplish things that seemed impossible before I did it.  Earlier this week, he walked in while I was working out on my own and asked me to jump.  He asked me to do a few more things, and before I knew it I was doing jumping jacks.  I’ve been modifying them for years, and now I can do them just like everyone else.  I felt so incredible, so normal, that I cried.

It’s hard to feel like I’ve come so far and still struggle so much with just eating a bit less on a regular basis.  I eat fruits and vegetables and lean protein, but I find myself struggling with my desire to eat extra, unhealthy things most evenings.

I fight feelings of resentment because friends who exercise can throw back a few beverages and an unhealthy meal and just work it off at the gym.  I also fight feelings of resentment when I think about how I’ve lost more weight than many people ever dream of losing, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg for me.  I get tired of hearing what I should be doing from people who haven’t accomplished as much as I have, and I get frustrated by those who assume that I sit around and eat Cheetos all day.  If I did that, I would have gained the weight that I lost back, plus some!

The last couple of months have opened my eyes to the fact that these feelings of resentment don’t solve the problem.  They don’t make me feel better about myself, and they don’t bring my closer to my goals.

I know that I have to accept that this is my life, my struggle and my journey.  I know that the opinions of others shouldn’t matter to me, and they don’t carry much weight as they used to.  Instead, I am focusing on the fact that I am making progress again.  It could be faster, but it’s better than being complacent.

Yesterday would have been weigh-in day, but for reasons that were out of my control, I didn’t weigh in today.  My plan is to go to a Weight Watchers meeting Monday since I’ll miss next Thursday, and I feel confident that I’ll see a loss.  I’m looking forward to heading out of town, but I plan to stay on track this week and while I’m gone as well.

This journey is not easy for me, but I am still working my way into a healthier place.  I’m going to try hard to make this a healthy week, and I’m going to do my best to squelch any negativity or feelings of complacency that try to creep into my mind.   My goal is to be consistent in making smart choices.

Do you ever struggle with resentment as you work to better yourself?

 

 

I Can, I will and I Am…

Before I talk about weighing in and other things, I’m going to share a picture of my new hair.  It’s hard to take a photo of myself that shows the caramel highlights, but you will see that I had about 6 inches cut off.  It’s long enough to put in a ponytail (which is imperative, of course,) but it’s also short enough to feel fresh.  Between a fresh hairdo and making some healthy decisions, I’m feeling pretty good about myself these days, and that’s a relief.

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Yesterday was weigh-in day, and I’m so happy to report that I am down 2.4 pounds this week.  It’s nice to see the numbers moving in the right direction, and I’m continually reminding myself that it will work if I keep making the effort.

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I track my food in WW e-tools, but I have had a good time playing with my daily calorie deficit on MyFitnessPal over the last few days.  A friend, Mr. Good Example, and I have spent a lot of time trying to increase our calorie deficits, and I’m excited to see what I can do in the upcoming week.

It’s been a month since I re-joined Weight Watchers, and the accountability seems to be working.  I think I’m just ready now, and I’m going to do my best to hold on to the knowledge that I can do this.

I lied to myself and others and made countless excuses  for a long, long time.  I’m sorry I did it, and I don’t do it anymore.  Weight-loss is possible for you, and it’s possible for me too.

1684_10201129935837160_1285231212_nI can do this. I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.

 

 

 

Finding Balance

After reading comments from a few of you on my last post, I suppose I need to clear up a few things.  First, if you’re a regular here, then you already know that it’s been quite some time since I’ve had a boyfriend.  Yes…I’ve dated guys – some of whom I’ve mentioned on my blog, and some who have never been mentioned here.  I love talking about dating and things associated with that because it’s a fun topic, but I do hold back at times in which I think it’s appropriate.

I made a decision recently to not mention anything about dating for a while because a few folks felt it was necessary to share their opinions on my choices privately.  I appreciate the concerns that some of you have had at various times, but it also makes me feel uncomfortable in ways that it would not if I simply didn’t post.

As a blogger, it’s hard to find a balance between what I should and should not say because I feel so close to some of you.  I want to share every giddy detail, but experience has taught me that it’s not always a good idea.  My post yesterday was just something that has been on my mind at various points, but I’m not actively looking for a relationship now.  I do date, and if you’re friends with me on social media sites, you’re likely to hear about that once in a while.

My decision to refrain from discussing it here just happened organically when I realized that I’m not comfortable explaining what I like and don’t like when it comes to specific people.  I’ve dated a few great guys in the last year, and it is likely that I’ll continue to date.  I just don’t plan to discuss as freely here because there’s enough fuel for judgment already.  And to answer more directly, nothing horrible happened with Lance that made me never want to talk to him again or something.  I’m just content to keep our beeswax offline.

So many of you choose to believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself, and I don’t take that for granted.  Right now, my biggest focus (on and off of the web) is to lose weight.  I want to show you all that I can do it, and I really want to show myself that I can do it.   It is my top priority now.

Last week, I rejoined Weight Watchers, and I weighed 6.4 pounds less yesterday at weigh-in.  My new meeting leader made it clear that she will support and encourage me, and that she will not accept excuses. She’s said it’s not about perfection, but it is about consistency.   That’s the kind of accountability I need.  I just came in from another killer workout with my personal trainer, Ron, too, and I’m focusing on myself and my goals.

WW Week 2

Dating and love certainly play a role in my life and what I want in it, but for now, I’ll talk about that offline so I can focus on the things that I originally talked about here.  In September, I wrote a post called “Let’s Not Call This A Weight-Loss Blog Anymore” because I got tired of trying and failing, but guess what, folks.  Not facing my battles and continually fighting, failing, succeeding, falling again, etc. is so much worse than simply not facing it.

There will still be a lot to talk about here so I’m going to focus on some specific things for a while – fitness, weight-loss, loving myself and not making excuses.  If I find myself in a serious, committed relationship, I’ll let you know 🙂 .  Until then, let’s focus on what’s really most important here….

 

The Long Day Is Over

Have you ever experienced a Monday that never seems to end?  That was my day.  I woke up before my alarm went off and breathed a sigh of relief that it was Sunday, then after basking in the fact that I could sleep in I realized it was Monday.  That reality would have been harsher if I hadn’t been looking forward to the day.

My attempt to go back to sleep for half an hour was thwarted by my desire to workout before facing the day so I got up and completed Level one of  30-Day Shred.  Monday isn’t typically a workout day, but after two workouts yesterday I felt compelled to continue in a healthy way.  The half hour I spent working out set the tone for my day, and I’m glad I did it.  (Don’t worry.  I showered and brushed my hair after that!)

You may recall that Monday is my new weigh-in day, and I’m happy to report that I lost 3.8 pounds.  After two weeks of working my way back into a healthy groove I’m down 11.6 pounds, and for the first time in a long time I feel like I can do this again.  Sure, I have a long way to go, but it feels great to be on the right track!

Monday meetings seem to work well for me because I’m more conscious of my weekend eating.  I found myself looking forward to attending again too, and that makes a huge difference!  I like this meeting and the people in it, and I want to succeed with everyone else there.  I can’t say that I love this meeting as much as I loved my New York meeting, but it’s possible that I will eventually.  I’m comfortable there, and that’s one of the most important factors to consider.

After my meeting I stopped at Whole Foods to pick up something delicious for dinner, and I made a new friend.  We had ample time to talk as we waited in line, and we continued our conversation outside.  He’s from New York and seemed rather brilliant and friendly so it was easy to talk to him.  I love making new friends so I’m glad I made that stop.  During our talk he suggested that I season my next batch of kale chips with chipotle, and I plan to do that before the presidential debate.

When I got home I considered working out again, but I opted to wait until today.  Instead I began practicing recipes that I plan to make for the holidays (because it’s important to do that while others are around to eat it.)  Now I’m ready to tackle Tuesday!

My confidence is on the rise again, and it feels good.  I feel like I’m in control of my health today, and I’m keenly aware that it’s up to me to make good choices.  I’m feeling strong in my workouts again too.  I plan to hit the pavement after I sleep, and I’m already looking forward to continuing my healthy week.

What will you do to make this a healthy week?

 

 

Who Knew A Monday Could Be So Awesome?

Yesterday was a long day, but I have no complaints.  When I woke up I didn’t feel well, but apart from a headache I’m fine now.  Whew.

Mondays are my new weigh-in day, and I think I like my meeting…a lot.  I was down 7.8 this week, and I’m feeling good about continuing this week.  I’ll be happy as long as the scale moves in the right direction.  I didn’t show big losses before, but they were fairly consistent.  For now, I’ll just concentrate on making good choices and adding one or two additional workouts this week.  Last week my goal was to work out every other day, and this week my goal is the same.    (Maybe I’ll even remember to update my workout and weight-loss logs soon.)

I also chose my actual apartment unit yesterday, and I’m excited about that.  Originally I was told that I could move in on October 12, but now it looks like I can’t move in until November 1.  The appliances have arrived, but the counter tops aren’t installed yet so they need a little more time.  Sigh…

I was disappointed to hear that I have to wait two more weeks to move in, but it’s actually okay because I’m still waiting on furniture to arrive.  I changed my mind when it was time to order so my sofa is olive green, and I bought this chair on sale from Target to match.  The chair has green in it so let’s hope it matches. 😉

And I chose a beige upholstered bed (that I can’t find in pictures) which will be covered with this bedding from Bed, Bath and Beyond.  The bedroom in this photo is much cooler and bigger than mine, but the bedding is the same.  You get the idea, right?

My life is moving in a healthy direction, and I like it.  I like the independence that I’ve gained over the last year or so, and I’m ready to look back and appreciate the positive changes I’ve made.

Weight-loss is important, but it’s not the only thing that’s important.  I’m happy…for a lot of reasons, and I’m thankful for my life.

What are you thankful for today?

Screw It! This is MY Blog!

This is not going to be an easy post to write because it’s embarrassing to admit that I have to try again because I haven’t gotten it right yet.

I had been pretty content with maintaining, but I’m not okay with my actions over the last few weeks.  When I stepped on the scale I saw an increase that brought me back over 300 pounds, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to accept that.

Over the last few months I’ve felt myself slipping, falling out of my exercise habits and into lethargy.  When my gym membership expired I knew I’d have to find a new one, but I’ve allowed myself to slide.  Between travels, work and school I’ve allowed myself to focus on things that should be prioritized right after exercise.

I’ve gotten into a habit of eating sushi almost everyday before school, then going out for drinks after class.  I like the company that comes with going out with friends, but I can have fun whether I’m drinking pumpkin beer or seltzer with cranberry and lime.

Monday I decided to go back to Weight Watchers.  I’ve had a love/hate relationship with Weight Watchers since PointsPlus started, but it’s the only thing that has ever given me the accountability that I need to be successful.  Will I eat endless zero-point fruits?  Nope.  Will I faithfully attend my weekly meeting?  Yep.

I tried a new meeting in New Orleans earlier this week since it’s closer to home now, and I wasn’t sure if I’d fit in or not.  The leader (who was absolutely lovely) lost 20 pounds so I wondered if I could connect with her even though I had over ten times that much to lose from my original starting weight.

Throughout the meeting I was tweeting about whether or not I was comfortable with it, and I got some incredible feedback from weight-loss warriors like Foodie McBody.  She said, “Although there ARE differences for people with different amounts to lose, I think the day to day decisions are often the same.”   I think we can all agree that she’s right about that.

When I read her words I decided to give the meeting a chance, and the fact is that it was filled with people who have different journeys, different ideas and similar goals.  I even made a friend and look forward to going back next week.

In addition to reactivating my monthly pass, I’ve committed to exercising again.  As soon as I started circuit training yesterday I was reminded that I love it, and I’m confident that finding motivation to sweat won’t be a struggle again right away.  I love endorphins!  I also appreciate the support and encouragement I received from an important friend last night.  (You know who you are…Thank you..xo)

This year has been filled with important emotional challenges, changes and growth.  I’ve accomplished things in my heart and my head (and with family and friends) that I’m simply not ready to share here.  I can look back at the last several months and be proud of myself, but it’s time to do more.  It’s time to put my physical health at the forefront and work toward the physical changes that are also important to me.

Maybe this journey isn’t difficult for you, but it’s hard for me.  It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s also the most rewarding and among the most important.

I forgive myself for slipping, and I’m ready to move forward.  I’m ready to take tiny little steps in the right direction.  It’s what I want, and it’s what I need so I’m doing it.

Are you satisfied with your choices you’ve made for your health and lifestyle in 2012?  Is there an area in which you could improve?  If so, will you share them with us?

 

Today

Today I will step on the scale to see where I stand after a week of eating processed junk food during the hurricane.  I will exercise.   I will also make healthy choices, and I will remind myself that giving up is not an option.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that quitting is not an option, and right now I have to remind myself to fight the mindless cravings, the feelings of lethargy and defeat…I have the power to be successful, and I’m claiming it today.

How do you motivate yourself to move forward when you feel like you have failed yourself?  How do you convince yourself to try again?